No Need to Compare

Many women are compelled to compare themselves to others, so it is important to remember that the only person you should compete with is yourself.

My little town just held its annual festa to celebrate our Italian heritage. We call the event The Big Time. It is a time when old friends and extended family come back to enjoy one another’s company, catch up on the happenings in each other’s lives, and recall fond memories of our past times together. 

I decided to re-read Adriana Trigiani’s book about the celebration called “The Queen of the Big Time,” so I reached for my mother’s copy from the shelf. There were no turned down dog-ears like my books, but there was a neatly folded tissue between two pages that Mom commonly used as a book mark. 

I opened to the page and as I read, these words jumped out at me:

“You don’t compete with other girls?”

“What good would that do? There is always someone more beautiful, more accomplished, and then someone backward, less intelligent. Why would I compare myself to anyone else?”

What mature and healthy thinking from the young heroine! For most women, it is difficult not to compare yourself to others, especially when you only see one another from time to time, or when you don’t really know the full story behind a brief exchange of words, or when you are feeling vulnerable. But, comparing yourself to others is simply not healthy. 

It is hard to avoid comparison, but when you catch yourself beginning to do it, shift yourself into a more healthy line of thought. Aim to:

• Do your favorite grounding exercise to stay in the moment

• Get to the root of what is making you feel this way

• Reframe your thoughts to your own uniqueness

• Write out a list of all your achievements (both large and small) as a reminder of your value

• Honestly decide if you truly want to make any personal changes or set any goals to better yourself

• And, if so, set up those goals based upon your past experiences in order to make that change.

Remember, the only person you should compete with is yourself. Look back at who you have been, decide how you want to evolve, and set goals to make the changes you want to make based on that reflection. If you need assistance setting or reaching those goals, coaching can help.

The Secret of the River

What matters most is happening now. Are you fully present?

I was introduced to the writing of Herman Hesse in college. His Siddhartha, a piece about spiritual quest, had a significant impact on my own search for understanding at that time. 

When I recently reached for the well preserved book, I was surprised that there were only a few dog-eared pages, but each had profound content. The one that stands out to me now is about the secret of the river. 

The river is everywhere at the same time, at the source and at the mouth, at the waterfall, at the ferry, at the current, in the ocean and in the mountains, everywhere, and that the present only exists for it, not the shadow of the past, nor the shadow of the future.

Hesse muses that there is no such thing as time as we know it. What we are like in the past and what we will be like in the future are still part of who we are as a person. But what matters most at any given time is what we ARE just at that time.  Ask yourself:

• Are you who you want to be right now?

• Are you doing what makes you the most happy right now?

• Are you experiencing the life you want to lead right now?

If the answer to any of these questions is no, it may be good to seek out a coach. Coaching can help you fully appreciate who you are right now while setting new goals for tomorrow.

Making the World More Beautiful

Sometimes our goals don’t just benefit us. Sometimes our goals benefit all those around us.

I’m a great-aunt and godmother who has been invited to numerous baby showers over the years. The hosts of these events often ask guests to bring a favorite book for the parents-to-be to read to their new bundle of joy. I love this practice! 

My go-to book for such events continues to be Barbara Cooney’s, Miss Rumphius. It’s about an aging aunt who achieves the life goals that she set for herself when she was younger, including one important goal that her grandfather reminded her to do when she was envisioning her future.

You must do something to make the world more beautiful.

What a great goal for everyone to have! Miss Rumphius comes across her particular way to make beauty in the world quite unintentionally. After this, she makes a clear decision on how she will continue this habit. She is an example of how we can all set our personal goals to include adding beauty to the world. 

When you add beauty to the world, in whatever way you choose, you do great things. You can make art, clean the environment, write poetry, plant flowers, create ambiance, make someone laugh, feed the birds - whatever works with our talents. When you add beauty to the world, you: 

• Promote connections

• Inspire hope

• Improve your focus

• Boost creativity

• Elevate moods

• Bring fun to your life (and those around you)

Sometimes our goals don’t just benefit us. Sometimes our goals - whether knowingly or unknowingly - benefit those around us. If you would like to make your life and the world more beautiful and don’t know where to start, coaching can help. 

Creating a Sensory-Based Thinking Environment

If you are a sensory thinker, create an environment to sooth your nervous system’s processing needs while stimulating your focus.

A neurodivergent thinker’s perceptive-pace differs from a neurotypical thinker's. I saw this often during my teaching years.

Since many neurodivergent individuals are more reliant upon physical senses to understand and operate in the world around them, they have to envision the words they hear. Verbal information that is presented too quickly can scramble their thinking and slow them down.

At the same time, these sensory processors are able to understand patterns and systems much more quickly than their neurotypical peers, and they see multiple possibilities for problem-solving. They can swiftly manipulate objects in their mind, catch nuances in color, or point out less obvious overlapping information.

I was fortunate to meet sensory thinker, Temple Grandin, and her mother, Eustacia Cutler, when they spoke at one of my former schools. Their explanation of sensory thinkers was enlightening and changed the way I taught! 

In Grandin’s book, Visual Thinking: The Hidden Gifts of People Who Think in Pictures, Patterns, and Abstractions, I not only had dog-eared, but heavily annotated pages. Grandin wrote:  

Imagine a world with no artists, industrial designers, or inventors. No electricians, mechanics, architects, plumbers, or builders. These are our visual thinkers, many hiding in plain sight, and we have failed to understand, encourage, or appreciate their specific contributions. 

If you are a sensory thinker, create an environment to sooth your nervous system’s processing needs while stimulating your focus. Try some of these techniques.

• Find your clutter limit - know what items will distract you and remove them from work areas. Keep those items that are needed to maintain focus.

• Find your fidget - use sensory tools to distract the part of your brain that over processes so you zero in on what needs to be done. 

• Use your comfort colors - decorate your area with the colors you find soothing and energizing.

• Adjust the scents around you - rid yourself of aromas that are too powerful and use lighter scents, or just go fragrance free. 

• Look to the light - use softer lighting or accent lighting rather than bright, flickering fluorescent lights.

• Tone down the noise - turn down loud sounds when possible and be mindful of echos that can distract; consider noise canceling headphones in busy areas

• Ground your nervous system - try using weighted blankets, bean bags, or textured pillows to add comfort.

• Advocate for yourself - Get comfortable asking others to slow down or repeat themselves when information comes at you too quickly. 

• Create a small sacred space - one that does not over stimulate and allows for a mini-get away.

Surroundings mean so much to many people. Take the time to know yourself and create your optimal productivity space. If you need support getting started, coaching can help.

Reclaiming your “I”

Women spend so much time helping others find their voice that they sometimes don’t see when it is time to reclaim their own. It’s time to bounce back.

One of the most passionate teachers I know loved to introduce Jane Eyre to the students at our girls’ school. She said that the book was perfect to teach young women about authenticity and self-realization, and her electrifying lesson made the students noticeably stronger. 

She once told me that she loved the novel because it was one of the first to have the female protagonist speak from a first person voice, which made the work richer and Jane more powerful.

When I reached for my tattered copy of the book, I couldn’t help but think of her and the wonderful work she did inspiring others to look inward to find their “I.” My dog-eared pages literally fell out when I opened my book, and I came across so many quotes that emphasized the strength and self-actualization of Jane. 

I am no bird; and no net ensnares me: I am a free human being with an independent will.

I have an inward treasure, born with me.

I am not an angel and I will not be one till I die: I will be myself.

I would always rather be happy than dignified.

Women spend so much time helping girls find their voice that we sometimes don’t see when our own starts to fade. It is important for us to remember to be that first-person protagonist in our own life story and take the time needed to nurture and reclaim our “I.” 

If something has caused you to lose yourself, you can bounce back. Here are some steps to reclaiming your “I”:

• Use positive self-talk to validate yourself

• Try to identify what silenced you along the way

• Use “I” statements to express your needs

• Return to what brought you joy in the past and renew it

• Go after a new passion that you have been curious about

• Remind yourself it is okay to say “no”

• Get comfortable with self-assertion

• Set up your support team and ask for help

• Start with small steps toward change.

If you are navigating through a difficult time and need help reclaiming your “I”, reach out -  coaching will help.

Sorting Through Emotional Intensity

When emotions run high, there are strategies that you can put in place to rebalance and sort through your goals.

Quite a number of the neurodivergent students that I have worked with were gifted. I learned that gifted individuals can become very passionate about ideas. Sometimes, they need support in working through the intensity of those feelings. 

Hiccups in life can cause extreme peaks and valleys in many neurodivergent individuals. I was reminded of this while reading a dog-eared page of SENG’s Supporting Emotional Needs of the Gifted. In one of the essays, Christine Fonseca writes:

Emotional Intensity refers to the passion gifted people feel daily. It also refers to the extreme highs and lows many gifted people experience through their lifetime, causing them to question their own mental stability from time to time.  

When goals don’t work as planned or plans move more slowly than expected, emotions can run high.  And, when emotions run high, there are strategies that we can put in place. 

If you are a person who experiences intense feelings around goal-setting, remember to:

• Learn your tipping point - this will help you stay calm if the situation continues

• Clearly identify the emotion - knowing the cause of the intensity helps with self-talk to deescalate

• Redirect your feelings before they become too intense

• Plan ahead about what to do when you feel overwhelmed

• Take a break to get back to your calm

• Focus on the positives in the moment. 

Fonseca also notes, “Intensity is not a bad thing in and of itself. Intensity is passion, the kind of passion we use to create.” And creativity brings joy to ourselves and those around us!

If you need help with goal-setting, coaching can help.

The Importance of Risk-taking

Taking small, manageable steps out of your comfort zone is the first step to healthy risk-taking.

I have spent much of my life playing it safe and following the rules because that’s what “nice girls” do. The thing is, there is no guarantee of safety in life no matter how well behaved you are. If I want something, I have to take a healthy risk and assert myself. 

One of the books that helped me become stronger and risk more was Babcock and Laschever’s Women Don’t Ask. I reached for it recently and opened a dog-eared page about women’s early fears of taking social risks. 

Girls’ greater sense of caution may prevent them from breaking rules and challenging the status quo while they’re growing up. As a result, they may not discover that this kind of risk taking - and by extension any unsanctioned approach to getting what they want (such as asking for something when it hasn’t been offered) - can be a successful strategy. 

There are many personal and professional benefits to challenging the status quo and taking a healthy risk. Not only can it increase self-confidence, it can bolster emotional resilience, reduce regret, and is a step in overcoming fear. 

Challenge yourself to change from passive to active. At first, it may seem overwhelming to go out of your comfort zone, but everyone can begin to take healthy risks by:

• Starting small and keeping it manageable

• Considering the downsides and evaluating your willingness to accept them

• Seeking support from others who will cheer you on and hold you accountable

• Creating a reasonable plan

By risking in small steps we change neural pathways and open ourselves to new possibilities. If this feels difficult for you to do alone, coaching can help.

Puzzle Solving

When neurodivergent minds look at all elements of life as a puzzle to be solved, they open up possibilities.

I’ve always been drawn to puzzles. I work on many of them - jigsaw, sudoku, crosswords, and a good murder mystery novel. The most intriguing puzzle, though, is the human mind. 

I thought about the mind as a puzzle when I looked at the one dog-eared page of The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time.  The entire book is a mystery from the lens of a neurodivergent protagonist. This quote made me think:   

When I was little I didn’t understand about other people having minds. And they said I would always find this very difficult. But I don’t find this difficult now. Because I decided that it is a kind of puzzle, and if something is a puzzle there is always a way of solving it.

Neurodivergent minds often love the challenge of a puzzle because puzzles provide inherent executive function security when many other parts of life do not. Puzzles: 

• Evoke a sense of calm by offering predictability

• Clear up over-thinking by providing focus

• Possess clear rules and manageable steps

• Offer achievable goals

• Provide a sense of self-satisfaction when completed

When neurodivergent individuals look at all elements of life as a puzzle to be solved, they open up possibilities. The challenging parts of life become manageable.

You can attain your goals by taking the steps forward to solve your puzzle. If you need support solving the other puzzles in life, coaching can help.

Hope Emerging from the Dust

Be vulnerable to the new day, and hold on to hope.

I was once a member of a professional reading group with several of my colleagues. Like any book club, each of us read the same new book every month. However, we each explored our own particular theme in that monthly book. My theme was hope. 

I nearly forgot about this illuminating time, until I pulled down one of the books from the collection we read. Their Eyes Were Watching God was full of dog-eared pages where I saw hope. One passage particularly catches my eye today: 

She knew that God tore down the old world every evening and built a new one by sun-up. It was wonderful to see it take form with the sun and emerge from the gray dust of its making.

What impresses me most now is how hope comes from a dark place. Even through the gray dust we are assured that something bright and new is on the horizon.

When it feels like everything around you is crumbling, keep telling yourself you will soon find:

Something new

Something needed

Something important

Something beautiful

Be vulnerable to the new day, and hold on to hope.  Be open to change along your personal path. If it still seems murky, coaching can help bring you through the gray dust toward your goals. 

Chips and Laughter

Marvelous the way we can consciously bring laughter into our day! Make it happen and see the change.

I have a deep affinity for James Hilton’s Goodbye Mr. Chips. From my years teaching, I have grown to understand the complexities of the character even though what initially drew me to the book was its endearing simplicity.  

As memories passed before me while I scanned the brittle, dog-eared pages, I landed on one particular passage about Mr. Chipping that resonated with me this week:

Laughter… laughter… wherever he went and whatever he said, there was laughter. He had earned the reputation of being a great jester, and jests were expected of him. 

“Old Chips was in fine form,” they would say afterward. “Marvelous the way he can always see the funny side of things….”

As basic as laughter seems, it is easily taken for granted, yet is so important to us. We know that laughter enhances cognitive function, relieves stress and tension, boosts the immune system, and increases resilience.

When was the last time you laughed? How easily does it come to you? How do you - or can you - bring laughter into your daily life?  

Here are a few ways to be sure you laugh daily:

• Reach out to someone who makes you laugh - even if you haven’t been in touch in a while

• Make time to watch your favorite comedy - or at least a couple of clips of it

• Listen to the laughter of strangers and take it in - make it contagious

• Laugh at yourself - we do silly things all the time and shouldn’t take ourselves too seriously

Marvelous the way we can consciously bring laughter into our day! If it is not in your nature to laugh, practice opening up to laughter. If you are going through a difficult time, remember to use laughter as a way through the haze. If you need someone to help you find laughter again, coaching can help. 

Conspiring With You

To attain your goals, try shifting your mind to believe that, when you want something, all the universe conspires with you.

Every reader has that book. The one they always go to. One so well written that they find new insight each time they read it.

Paulo Coelho’s “The Alchemist” is that book for me. Every time I pick it up, it tells me something that I need to learn. 

I reached for it again recently during a moment of self-doubt. One of the dog-eared pages fell open. It was a passage that explained about Personal Legend, or those things people instinctually know they want to accomplish in life. 

When they are young, everything is clear and everything is possible. They are not afraid to dream. 

But, as time passes, a mysterious force begins to convince them that it will be impossible.

There are times in life when that force creeps in and makes it hard to see our path. We begin to be afraid of what is around us. We forget to dream. We don’t try to accomplish what is in our hearts. 

But, clarity isn’t far away.

When it is hard to see the road ahead of you: 

• Pause to look more closely at what is within your reach. 

• Remember you are still on the right path.

• Appreciate that this place - right now - holds purpose.

• Identify the things in life that are working, and the things that are not working. 

• Decide what you want. 

• Take what works; leave what doesn’t. 

• Begin to move forward.

• Be open to new insights along the way.

Coelho encouraged, “when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.” Trust this. Trust yourself. Keep moving forward.

You are here for a purpose. If it is still hard to see, coaching can help get back to your path.

“Maybe” - A Way Out of Rumination

Maybe there’s a different way to think about things.

Rumination can be harmful. I saw this regularly working in girls’ schools. 

Once something gets stuck in our heads we go down a narrow path and can’t see beyond the story we create. The story quickly becomes a false truth. 

If you start to ruminate, remember to widen your scope in order to see more clearly. Work at rewiring your own brain.

There is a Rewiring Toolbox in Kay & Shipman’s The Confidence Code for Girls, and one particular tool I’ve found helpful in coaching is creating a new, “maybe story.” 

Start every sentence with “maybe.” Even if the “maybe” is not the best explanation, even if the story is kind of silly, it works.

Flipping the switch to a slightly different way of looking at what’s bugging you will get you off the negative path. Basically, you are getting perspective, and thinking flexibly. 

When I see clients get stuck in their narratives, I direct them to create a maybe story.

• Maybe there’s a different way forward.

• Maybe I can take that risk. 

• Maybe I’ve completed more than I realize.

• Maybe I will get all that I hoped for. 

• Maybe I already know how to do it. 

Coaching helps you search through your “maybes” and get to your goals. It helps you stop fixating and focuses on problem-solving. It sets you in the right direction. Reach out if you need help in exploring the “maybes.” 

What the Tinman Already Has

If you are trying to build self-trust, work through old patterns, or care for yourself with more intention, you do not have to do it alone

I pulled my old copy of The Wonderful Wizard of Oz off the shelf today. It has many bent corners. I was not sure which page to revisit until I landed on the one where the Tin Woodman finally receives his heart:

Oz opened the Tin Woodman’s chest, placed a silk heart inside, and patched the tin where he had cut it.

“I’m sorry I had to put a patch on your breast,” he said.

“Never mind the patch,” the Woodman replied. “I shall never forget your kindness.”

I dog-eared this page in my twenties. At the time, I thought I marked it because of heartbreak. Now I see something different.

The Woodman’s heart mattered to him only if it was a kind one.
He welcomed the patch.
He chose to believe the process would not hurt.
And he trusted help when he needed it.

Those choices take strength.
They also take support.

If you are trying to build self-trust, work through old patterns, or care for yourself with more intention, you do not have to do it alone. I am here when you are ready.

Simmering

Simmering our thoughts is part of the creative process. Sometimes, we just need to be still.

When I worked at a girls’ school in Princeton, the chef made the kind of soups you remember years later. He once told me his grandmother insisted that soup is the most important dish to learn because it grows from attention and care.

I thought about that when I opened an old dog-ear in Rumi: Bridge to the Soul. The page folded toward the poem “Let the Soup Simmer.” The lines I had underlined long ago still feel true:

Let the soup simmer
with the lid on.
Be quiet.

Sometimes the best thing you can do is pause.
Not rush to fix.
Not force clarity.
Just let things settle long enough to understand what you have been creating.

When life feels full, the silence helps you see the adjustments you need. It also helps you notice when something is already working.

If you need support as you sort through what to hold, what to change, and what to give more time, coaching can offer a steady place to think and breathe.

A Routine to Start with Wonder

When I worked as an educator, my days ran on structure. Classes gave shape to the hours. Routine kept my mind steady and helped me stay organized.

Now that my work looks different, I protect a small morning ritual to keep that steadiness. I start the day with a short Tai Chi sequence. It grounds me even when life feels busy.

That routine came to mind when I opened a dog-eared page in The Tao of Pooh and landed on this conversation between Pooh and Piglet:

“When you wake up in the morning, Pooh,” said Piglet at last, “what’s the first thing you say to yourself?”

“What’s for breakfast?” said Pooh. “What do you say, Piglet?”

“I say, I wonder what’s going to happen exciting today?”

Pooh nodded thoughtfully.

“It’s the same thing,” he said.

There is something refreshing about starting the day with simple curiosity.

A small moment of openness.

A gentle way to set the tone before responsibilities take over.

If you are navigating change or rebuilding routines of your own, you can start with one repeatable action each morning. It does not have to be elaborate. It only needs to help you step into the day with a steadier mindset.

If you want help building that structure in a way that works for your life, I am here.

Welcome to Dog-Ears

For most of my life, I could hold complex ideas with ease, but my working memory never kept pace with my reasoning. Thoughts came in quickly. They left just as fast. I needed ways to keep them still long enough to understand them.

I built habits to help myself along.
Lists.
Routines.
Annotations.
And dog-eared pages from the books that shaped me.

Those folded corners became reminders of ideas I wanted to revisit. They marked the passages that stirred something important, even if I did not yet know why.

This Journal series returns to those pages. Some come from books on education, psychology, theology, or leadership. Others come from novels, picture books, or the kinds of stories you pick up for fun and end up thinking about for years.

What matters is what those passages reveal now.
What they meant then.
What they might mean to you.

If any of these reflections spark something in you and you want guided support as you sort through your own next steps, I am here when you need me.

When You Know Something Needs to Change, But You’re Not Sure What to Do Next

There’s a moment many women reach—quietly, often privately—when the life they’ve been managing no longer feels like the life they want. Nothing dramatic has to happen. Sometimes it’s subtle. A shift. A tug. A question you can’t seem to quiet. You wake up in the morning, move through your familiar routines, and feel a small ache of knowing: This isn’t quite right anymore.

If this sounds close to home, you’re not alone. Many women in transition experience this early sense of change long before they feel ready to act on it. Let’s slow down and unpack what might be happening underneath.

1. You’ve been carrying more than people realize

Women often move through life with remarkable steadiness, even when things feel wobbly on the inside. You support your family, your workplace, your community. You anticipate needs before they appear. You adjust. You absorb. You cope.

But at some point, your internal bandwidth reaches its edge.

You might notice:

• a heaviness you can’t quite name

• irritation at small things that never bothered you

• a sense that you’re “going through the motions”

• a desire to withdraw, not because you want less, but because you need a moment to breathe

These early signs are not failures. They’re information.

2. You don’t feel as connected to yourself as you once were

This is one of the most common experiences women share during transitions. Life asks for a lot—caregiving, partnership, work, emotional labor—and it’s easy to lose track of the parts of yourself that once felt unmistakably you.

You may ask:

• When did I stop feeling excited about my own goals?

• Why do decisions feel harder than they used to?

• Why do I keep postponing the things that matter to me?

Reconnection happens gradually, and often begins with a small moment of honesty:
“I’m ready for something different.”

3. Your confidence dips—not because you lack ability, but because you’ve been overextended

When you’ve spent years prioritizing others, your own needs can feel unfamiliar.

• You second-guess what you want.

• You doubt your next step.

• You hesitate to trust your own judgment.

This doesn’t mean you’re lost.It means you’ve been giving from a place that needs replenishing. A transition is less about becoming someone new and more about returning to yourself with clarity and intention.

4. You sense that change is coming, but you don’t have a plan for it yet

This is the space many women find themselves in—the in-between. Not unhappy, but not fulfilled.
Not stuck, but not moving. Capable, but unsure where to start.

• You don’t need a five-year roadmap.

• You don’t need a fully formed plan.

• You don’t need to have everything figured out.

You just need a direction.

5. You know you want more ease, more meaning, and more steadiness in your days

Most transitions aren’t about dramatic reinventions. They’re about wanting:

• more alignment

• more clarity

• more choice

• more of yourself in your own life

And when you begin to name what you want, even quietly, you create space for your next chapter to take shape. If this resonates, you may be closer to change than you think. You don’t have to make a big leap. You don’t have to overhaul your life.

Sometimes the first step is simply acknowledging what you’re feeling and giving yourself permission to explore it.

To help you reflect gently and at your own pace, I created a guide that walks you through early signs of meaningful life change and gives you space to consider what you might want next.

Get the guide here: “5 Signs You’re Ready for a Major Life Change”

It might help you hear yourself more clearly.

Why Traditional Productivity Advice Fails Neurodivergent Adults—and What to Try Instead

If you’ve ever tried to “just stay organized” or “use a planner” or “be more disciplined” and found yourself frustrated a week later, you’re in good company.

Many neurodivergent adults—whether ADHD, autistic, gifted, twice-exceptional, or simply wired differently—have spent years trying to fit into systems that were never designed with them in mind.

• It’s not a lack of intelligence.

• It’s not a lack of effort.

• It’s not a character flaw.

It’s a mismatch.

Let’s talk about why common productivity strategies fall short, and what can help instead.

1. Most tools assume you process information linearly

Many workplace systems follow a predictable workflow:

• prioritize

• plan

• break tasks into steps
  follow the plan

• But not everyone’s mind organizes information in a straight line.

• Some people think in layers.

• Some jump to the middle of a problem.

• Some work best after a burst of clarity or hyperfocus.
  Some need time to warm up before anything makes sense.

• When a system doesn’t match how you naturally think, it feels fragile.
  It works for a day or two, then collapses under its own structure.

2. Task initiation challenges are almost never solved by “trying harder”

One of the most misunderstood executive function skills is simply the ability to start.

You may feel:

• frozen at the beginning

• overwhelmed by the first step

• unsure where to begin

• flooded by too many ideas

• distracted by smaller tasks

This isn’t laziness. It’s a neurological pattern.

Strategies that honor how you start—rather than shame you for how you don’t—are far more effective.

3. Sensory load plays a much bigger role than most people realize

If you’ve ever lost momentum because:

• a sound irritated you

• a room felt too bright

• a conversation drained your energy

• a task required more emotional labor than expected

You’re not imagining it. Sensory overwhelm can interrupt executive function completely. Many traditional productivity systems ignore this reality.

Acknowledging sensory needs isn’t indulgent—it’s practical.

4. Feedback and instructions often come at a pace that doesn’t allow for clarity

Some neurodivergent adults take in information differently. If instructions are fast, vague, or layered, they become hard to retain.

• This isn’t a comprehension issue.

• It’s a processing issue.

The good news?
Better communication strategies can make the difference between constant confusion and genuine clarity.

5. Consistency is easier when the system is built around how you operate—not how others expect you to operate

It’s common for neurodivergent individuals to:

• start strong

• lose momentum

• feel discouraged

• start again

• repeat

This cycle isn’t a failure. It’s a signal that the tools aren’t supporting your natural rhythm.

When your system is:

• lighter

• clearer

• more flexible

• tailored to your energy

• designed around your patterns

Consistency becomes possible—sometimes for the first time. You don’t need more motivation. You need a better fit.

If you’ve been frustrated by organization, planning, communication, or follow-through, it may help to take a clearer look at where executive function shortfalls are showing up for you.

I created a simple guide that helps you reflect on these challenges without judgment and understand what might be getting in the way of your progress.

You can download it here: “Are Executive Function Shortfalls Shortchanging Your Career?”

It’s a gentle starting point for understanding what’s been hard—and where change is possible.