Accept and Grow
We all have patterns that trigger the parts of us that we don’t like. Once you figure them out, create a plan to train them and change them. Start by reminding yourself that you are human.
Although Divinity School was a long time ago and there have been many shifts in my life’s path, I still consider myself a theologian at heart. I regularly work at refilling my own spiritual well, especially when the world around me seems particularly chaotic.
During the Covid-19 quarantine, I ordered a book that has shifted my perspective and touched my heart. It is now one of those books I reach for to re-read, even if I only have time for just one chapter. I have again picked up The Book of Joy! It is full of the wisdom from conversations with His Holiness the Dalai Lama and Archbishop Desmond Tutu, and is written by Douglas Abrams.
My eyes landed on a chapter titled, “You are a Masterpiece in the Making,” and the following passage tugged at me.
“Basically,” the Archbishop continued, “I think we’ve got to accept ourselves as we are. And then hope to grow in much the way the Dalai Lama described. I mean getting to know what the things are that trigger us. These are things that you can train, you can change, but we ought not to be ashamed of ourselves. We are human.”
The human condition is what unites us, no matter how splintered we think we have become from others around us. Knowing this helps us accept ourselves in the moment and aim to grow in a positive way.
I like how the Archbishop suggested that we get to know what triggers us in order to promote this growth. Once we identify those triggers, we can create honest and powerful plans for change.
Here are some ways to help you identify your triggers:
Begin to realize the heightened reactions you have
Track when those reactions occur - note the event, words used, people involved
Identify the physical sensations that arise in you
Identify the immediate thoughts that came to you during this time
Look for patterns in the information you gathered
Once you have figured out the patterns that trigger you, create a plan to train them and change them. These are areas where coaching can help. Reach out when you are ready.