Reclaiming your “I”

Women spend so much time helping others find their voice that they sometimes don’t see when it is time to reclaim their own. It’s time to bounce back.

One of the most passionate teachers I know loved to introduce Jane Eyre to the students at our girls’ school. She said that the book was perfect to teach young women about authenticity and self-realization, and her electrifying lesson made the students noticeably stronger. 

She once told me that she loved the novel because it was one of the first to have the female protagonist speak from a first person voice, which made the work richer and Jane more powerful.

When I reached for my tattered copy of the book, I couldn’t help but think of her and the wonderful work she did inspiring others to look inward to find their “I.” My dog-eared pages literally fell out when I opened my book, and I came across so many quotes that emphasized the strength and self-actualization of Jane. 

I am no bird; and no net ensnares me: I am a free human being with an independent will.

I have an inward treasure, born with me.

I am not an angel and I will not be one till I die: I will be myself.

I would always rather be happy than dignified.

Women spend so much time helping girls find their voice that we sometimes don’t see when our own starts to fade. It is important for us to remember to be that first-person protagonist in our own life story and take the time needed to nurture and reclaim our “I.” 

If something has caused you to lose yourself, you can bounce back. Here are some steps to reclaiming your “I”:

• Use positive self-talk to validate yourself

• Try to identify what silenced you along the way

• Use “I” statements to express your needs

• Return to what brought you joy in the past and renew it

• Go after a new passion that you have been curious about

• Remind yourself it is okay to say “no”

• Get comfortable with self-assertion

• Set up your support team and ask for help

• Start with small steps toward change.

If you are navigating through a difficult time and need help reclaiming your “I”, reach out -  coaching will help.